Talk:Life Cycle Model - Revision history

Student at 09:47, 30 November 2014

2014-11-30T09:47:12Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 09:47, 30 November 2014
Line 52:		Line 52:
	* I think we do not have a specific referencing format, but it would be better for your article if they were written in the same style.		* I think we do not have a specific referencing format, but it would be better for your article if they were written in the same style.
	**''done''		**''done''

			*''thank you, for taking your time to create a very detailed and thorough feedback, it helped a great deal to improve this article!''

	==Review by kikigaga==		==Review by kikigaga==
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	Thank you for making it interesting to read, I really enjoyed it!		Thank you for making it interesting to read, I really enjoyed it!
	*''thank you, for taking your time ~~to create a very detailed~~ and ~~thorough~~ feedback~~, it help a great deal to improve this article~~!		*''thank you for taking your time and valuable feedback!''

Student at 09:46, 30 November 2014

2014-11-30T09:46:02Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 09:46, 30 November 2014
Line 68:		Line 68:

	Thank you for making it interesting to read, I really enjoyed it!		Thank you for making it interesting to read, I really enjoyed it!
			*''thank you, for taking your time to create a very detailed and thorough feedback, it help a great deal to improve this article!

Student at 09:44, 30 November 2014

2014-11-30T09:44:29Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 09:44, 30 November 2014
Line 49:		Line 49:
	**''The Y-axis corresponds to the percentage of the two curves at any given stage during the development phase. The two curves indicate influence vs. knowledge on/about the project and are marked accordingly''		**''The Y-axis corresponds to the percentage of the two curves at any given stage during the development phase. The two curves indicate influence vs. knowledge on/about the project and are marked accordingly''
	* It could be nice to contrast in some way the Life Cycle Model to the variations shown in the last section. You could discuss some advantages and disadvantages that this model may have, and how the other variants help or fail to address some of the disadvantages. This might not be the case if they are suitable for different circumstances.		* It could be nice to contrast in some way the Life Cycle Model to the variations shown in the last section. You could discuss some advantages and disadvantages that this model may have, and how the other variants help or fail to address some of the disadvantages. This might not be the case if they are suitable for different circumstances.
			**''I added the four different approaches in that context and tried to make clear, that the choice of method is very much dependent on the circumstances. A proper comparison of models would be outside of the scope of this article.''
	* I think we do not have a specific referencing format, but it would be better for your article if they were written in the same style.		* I think we do not have a specific referencing format, but it would be better for your article if they were written in the same style.
	**done		**''done''

	==Review by kikigaga==		==Review by kikigaga==
Line 58:		Line 59:
	**''I clarified the angle on the concept as 'viewed from a systems engineering perspective' (in abstract & background), I did add minimal description of the differences in the models and backup reading if required. I don't think my personal opinion belongs into an article.''		**''I clarified the angle on the concept as 'viewed from a systems engineering perspective' (in abstract & background), I did add minimal description of the differences in the models and backup reading if required. I don't think my personal opinion belongs into an article.''
	*I liked the case company idea, but maybe you would want to introduce it in the beginning as a strategy for the article so the reader is prepared. Did you or someone else come up with the cases?		*I liked the case company idea, but maybe you would want to introduce it in the beginning as a strategy for the article so the reader is prepared. Did you or someone else come up with the cases?
	**''good point, I wrote a brief introduction to the article within the abstract, in which I incorporated your suggestion. It ~~state~~ as well that the company case is fictional.''		**''good point, I wrote a brief introduction to the article within the abstract, in which I incorporated your suggestion. It states as well that the company case is fictional.''
	*Could there be some implementation advice?		*Could there be some implementation advice?
			*''I added the section Approaches and reflection in order to give an idea, in which direction a company might choose to develop''
	*Are we going to know what happens to the case companies?		*Are we going to know what happens to the case companies?
	**''since its based on (science) fiction~~, I would say no.~~''		**''no, since its based on (science) fiction''
	*I would like to see a longer discussion of the model compared to de other models. How is this better, why do companies choose other models and so on.		*I would like to see a longer discussion of the model compared to de other models. How is this better, why do companies choose other models and so on.
			*''as suggested above, a proper discussion would go well beyond the scope of this article, however I added some more meat to the 'alternative model' section''

	Thank you for making it interesting to read, I really enjoyed it!		Thank you for making it interesting to read, I really enjoyed it!

Student: /* Feedback from Dnhr0 */

2014-11-30T09:15:22Z

Feedback from Dnhr0

← Older revision		Revision as of 09:15, 30 November 2014
Line 50:		Line 50:
	* It could be nice to contrast in some way the Life Cycle Model to the variations shown in the last section. You could discuss some advantages and disadvantages that this model may have, and how the other variants help or fail to address some of the disadvantages. This might not be the case if they are suitable for different circumstances.		* It could be nice to contrast in some way the Life Cycle Model to the variations shown in the last section. You could discuss some advantages and disadvantages that this model may have, and how the other variants help or fail to address some of the disadvantages. This might not be the case if they are suitable for different circumstances.
	* I think we do not have a specific referencing format, but it would be better for your article if they were written in the same style.		* I think we do not have a specific referencing format, but it would be better for your article if they were written in the same style.
			**done

	==Review by kikigaga==		==Review by kikigaga==

Student: /* Review by kikigaga */

2014-11-26T20:58:12Z

Review by kikigaga

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:58, 26 November 2014
Line 55:		Line 55:
	The other reviewer (as I can see) covered a lot of my points so I will stick to the things that were extra;)		The other reviewer (as I can see) covered a lot of my points so I will stick to the things that were extra;)
	*Think about if you want a specific angle on the concept. I thought it was nice to hear about the area but as I also know about LCA and stuff I might want to know how this differs and what you found interesting about the subject?		*Think about if you want a specific angle on the concept. I thought it was nice to hear about the area but as I also know about LCA and stuff I might want to know how this differs and what you found interesting about the subject?
			**''I clarified the angle on the concept as 'viewed from a systems engineering perspective' (in abstract & background), I did add minimal description of the differences in the models and backup reading if required. I don't think my personal opinion belongs into an article.''
	*I liked the case company idea, but maybe you would want to introduce it in the beginning as a strategy for the article so the reader is prepared. Did you or someone else come up with the cases?		*I liked the case company idea, but maybe you would want to introduce it in the beginning as a strategy for the article so the reader is prepared. Did you or someone else come up with the cases?
			**''good point, I wrote a brief introduction to the article within the abstract, in which I incorporated your suggestion. It state as well that the company case is fictional.''
	*Could there be some implementation advice?		*Could there be some implementation advice?
	*Are we going to know what happens to the case companies?		*Are we going to know what happens to the case companies?
			**''since its based on (science) fiction, I would say no.''
	*I would like to see a longer discussion of the model compared to de other models. How is this better, why do companies choose other models and so on.		*I would like to see a longer discussion of the model compared to de other models. How is this better, why do companies choose other models and so on.

	Thank you for making it interesting to read, I really enjoyed it!		Thank you for making it interesting to read, I really enjoyed it!

Student: /* Feedback from Dnhr0 */

2014-11-26T20:49:41Z

Feedback from Dnhr0

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:49, 26 November 2014
Line 39:		Line 39:
	**''done''		**''done''
	* It could be useful to mention (before explaining the four phases) why you have decided to take these four phases and not others. It is not clear if this is the way Rainer Züst and Peter Troxler do it, or if you got the idea from other sources. This also affects the figure with the life cycle phases and decision gates.		* It could be useful to mention (before explaining the four phases) why you have decided to take these four phases and not others. It is not clear if this is the way Rainer Züst and Peter Troxler do it, or if you got the idea from other sources. This also affects the figure with the life cycle phases and decision gates.
	**''I ~~mention~~ in the ~~historic background that the article is based on Züst's work~~''		**''I have tried to clarify this in the revised abstract''
	* I consider it important to mention what you consider throughout the article as “Systems Engineering”. You could go into small detail, probably referencing a couple of sources. I think that it might be useful to divide the background in to sections: Main Concepts and Historical Background. That way you may be able to clarify this concept and probably make explicit the relationship between this topic and project/portfolio/program management.		* I consider it important to mention what you consider throughout the article as “Systems Engineering”. You could go into small detail, probably referencing a couple of sources. I think that it might be useful to divide the background in to sections: Main Concepts and Historical Background. That way you may be able to clarify this concept and probably make explicit the relationship between this topic and project/portfolio/program management.
	**''I linked systems engineering to another wiki article for clarification		**''I linked systems engineering to another wiki article for clarification, added a defintion in the background part and created the link to the Life Cycle model''
	* You may want to make the bullet points under the Development Phase in bold letters; however, it is just a suggestion, it may not be that relevant.		* You may want to make the bullet points under the Development Phase in bold letters; however, it is just a suggestion, it may not be that relevant.
	**''good idea''		**''good idea''
	* The figures could be shown a little bit bigger. As they currently are, the reader needs to click on them to actually read the content.		* The figures could be shown a little bit bigger. As they currently are, the reader needs to click on them to actually read the content.
	**''done (~~300px~~)''		**''done (400px)''
	* The second figure may need to add a label on the Y-axis to clearly state that it reflects influence (very helpful chart).		* The second figure may need to add a label on the Y-axis to clearly state that it reflects influence (very helpful chart).
	**''The Y-axis corresponds to the percentage of the two curves at any given stage during the development phase. The two curves indicate influence vs. knowledge on/about the project and are marked accordingly''		**''The Y-axis corresponds to the percentage of the two curves at any given stage during the development phase. The two curves indicate influence vs. knowledge on/about the project and are marked accordingly''

Student: /* Feedback from Dnhr0 */

2014-11-26T15:23:54Z

Feedback from Dnhr0

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:23, 26 November 2014
Line 37:		Line 37:
	**''I moved the definition of the phases forward, it truly makes more sense that way. And I added a brief intro to the rest of the article.''		**''I moved the definition of the phases forward, it truly makes more sense that way. And I added a brief intro to the rest of the article.''
	* Don’t forget to reference the figures in the text. They are very useful, so it could be even better if the text guides you through them.		* Don’t forget to reference the figures in the text. They are very useful, so it could be even better if the text guides you through them.
			**''done''
	* It could be useful to mention (before explaining the four phases) why you have decided to take these four phases and not others. It is not clear if this is the way Rainer Züst and Peter Troxler do it, or if you got the idea from other sources. This also affects the figure with the life cycle phases and decision gates.		* It could be useful to mention (before explaining the four phases) why you have decided to take these four phases and not others. It is not clear if this is the way Rainer Züst and Peter Troxler do it, or if you got the idea from other sources. This also affects the figure with the life cycle phases and decision gates.
	* I consider it important to mention what you consider throughout the article as “Systems Engineering”. You could go into small detail, probably referencing a couple of sources. I think that it might be useful to divide the background in to sections: Main Concepts and Historical Background. That way you may be able to clarify this concept and probably make explicit the relationship between this topic and project/portfolio/program management.		**''I mention in the historic background that the article is based on Züst's work''
			* I consider it important to mention what you consider throughout the article as “Systems Engineering”. You could go into small detail, probably referencing a couple of sources. I think that it might be useful to divide the background in to sections: Main Concepts and Historical Background. That way you may be able to clarify this concept and probably make explicit the relationship between this topic and project/portfolio/program management.
			**''I linked systems engineering to another wiki article for clarification
	* You may want to make the bullet points under the Development Phase in bold letters; however, it is just a suggestion, it may not be that relevant.		* You may want to make the bullet points under the Development Phase in bold letters; however, it is just a suggestion, it may not be that relevant.
	**''good idea''		**''good idea''

Student: /* Feedback from Dnhr0 */

2014-11-26T14:03:15Z

Feedback from Dnhr0

Student: /* Feedback from Dnhr0 */

2014-11-26T13:08:14Z

Feedback from Dnhr0

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:08, 26 November 2014
Line 11:		Line 11:
	* I think the length of the article is fine, since you talk about the important things of this topic.		* I think the length of the article is fine, since you talk about the important things of this topic.

	''* Thanks :-)''		* ''Thanks :-)''

	At the same time, I think there are some minor things that you may want to go through again in order to consider my opinion (if you find it useful). Some of my recommendations are:		At the same time, I think there are some minor things that you may want to go through again in order to consider my opinion (if you find it useful). Some of my recommendations are:
Line 30:		Line 30:
	* Grammar: You may want to review these sentences:		* Grammar: You may want to review these sentences:
	** Under Detailed study: “Within this phase detailed studies of the subsystems and their interrelation, which lead to detailed information about each sub solution and gives advice towards the implementation of the Engineering System.” It seems that there is a missing verb (or a part of the sentence).		** Under Detailed study: “Within this phase detailed studies of the subsystems and their interrelation, which lead to detailed information about each sub solution and gives advice towards the implementation of the Engineering System.” It seems that there is a missing verb (or a part of the sentence).
	''**Right, it sounds horrific. I rephrased the whole paragraph''		**''Right, it sounds horrific. I rephrased the whole paragraph''
	** Under Realisation Phase: “Examples are the production of machinery or in case of IT and service systems the full documentation of the system. The system is ready to be implemented.” The first one I would add some commas: ““Examples are the production of machinery or, in case of IT and service systems, the full documentation of the system”. However, it looks like there is a link missing between the first and the second sentences.		** Under Realisation Phase: “Examples are the production of machinery or in case of IT and service systems the full documentation of the system. The system is ready to be implemented.” The first one I would add some commas: ““Examples are the production of machinery or, in case of IT and service systems, the full documentation of the system”. However, it looks like there is a link missing between the first and the second sentences.
	''**I added the commas and created the missing link''		**''I added the commas and created the missing link''

	* In the abstract or summary, it could be a good idea to state the four phases of the life cycle model before referring to them. You start talking about these phases in the third line of the paragraph; however, you mention them until the end of it. It might be the case that you do not want to mention them before, but it was quite complicated to know what I was reading about without knowing these phases. It may also be a good idea if you state more clearly in this part what the reader is going to read in the article (explanation of the four phases, examples, variations of the model, etc.).		* In the abstract or summary, it could be a good idea to state the four phases of the life cycle model before referring to them. You start talking about these phases in the third line of the paragraph; however, you mention them until the end of it. It might be the case that you do not want to mention them before, but it was quite complicated to know what I was reading about without knowing these phases. It may also be a good idea if you state more clearly in this part what the reader is going to read in the article (explanation of the four phases, examples, variations of the model, etc.).

Student: /* Feedback from Dnhr0 */

2014-11-26T13:06:46Z

Feedback from Dnhr0

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:06, 26 November 2014
Line 11:		Line 11:
	* I think the length of the article is fine, since you talk about the important things of this topic.		* I think the length of the article is fine, since you talk about the important things of this topic.

			''* Thanks :-)''

	At the same time, I think there are some minor things that you may want to go through again in order to consider my opinion (if you find it useful). Some of my recommendations are:		At the same time, I think there are some minor things that you may want to go through again in order to consider my opinion (if you find it useful). Some of my recommendations are:
	* Spelling: ''(all considered and corrected)''		* Spelling:
			*''(all considered and corrected)''
	** Abstract: framework instead of frame work.		** Abstract: framework instead of frame work.
	** Historic Background: article instead of articel.		** Historic Background: article instead of articel.
Line 28:		Line 30:
	* Grammar: You may want to review these sentences:		* Grammar: You may want to review these sentences:
	** Under Detailed study: “Within this phase detailed studies of the subsystems and their interrelation, which lead to detailed information about each sub solution and gives advice towards the implementation of the Engineering System.” It seems that there is a missing verb (or a part of the sentence).		** Under Detailed study: “Within this phase detailed studies of the subsystems and their interrelation, which lead to detailed information about each sub solution and gives advice towards the implementation of the Engineering System.” It seems that there is a missing verb (or a part of the sentence).
	** Under Realisation Phase: “Examples are the production of machinery or in case of IT and service systems the full documentation of the system. The system is ready to be implemented.” The first one I would add some commas: ““Examples are the production of machinery or, in case of IT and service systems, the full documentation of the system”. However, it looks like there is a link missing between the first and the second sentences.		''**Right, it sounds horrific. I rephrased the whole paragraph''
			** Under Realisation Phase: “Examples are the production of machinery or in case of IT and service systems the full documentation of the system. The system is ready to be implemented.” The first one I would add some commas: ““Examples are the production of machinery or, in case of IT and service systems, the full documentation of the system”. However, it looks like there is a link missing between the first and the second sentences.
			''**I added the commas and created the missing link''

	* In the abstract or summary, it could be a good idea to state the four phases of the life cycle model before referring to them. You start talking about these phases in the third line of the paragraph; however, you mention them until the end of it. It might be the case that you do not want to mention them before, but it was quite complicated to know what I was reading about without knowing these phases. It may also be a good idea if you state more clearly in this part what the reader is going to read in the article (explanation of the four phases, examples, variations of the model, etc.).		* In the abstract or summary, it could be a good idea to state the four phases of the life cycle model before referring to them. You start talking about these phases in the third line of the paragraph; however, you mention them until the end of it. It might be the case that you do not want to mention them before, but it was quite complicated to know what I was reading about without knowing these phases. It may also be a good idea if you state more clearly in this part what the reader is going to read in the article (explanation of the four phases, examples, variations of the model, etc.).
Line 36:		Line 40:
	* You may want to make the bullet points under the Development Phase in bold letters; however, it is just a suggestion, it may not be that relevant.		* You may want to make the bullet points under the Development Phase in bold letters; however, it is just a suggestion, it may not be that relevant.
	* The figures could be shown a little bit bigger. As they currently are, the reader needs to click on them to actually read the content.		* The figures could be shown a little bit bigger. As they currently are, the reader needs to click on them to actually read the content.
			**done (300px)
	* The second figure may need to add a label on the Y-axis to clearly state that it reflects influence (very helpful chart).		* The second figure may need to add a label on the Y-axis to clearly state that it reflects influence (very helpful chart).
			**The Y-axis corresponds to the percentage of the two curves at any given stage during the development phase. The two curves indicate influence vs. knowledge on/about the project and are marked accordinly
	* It could be nice to contrast in some way the Life Cycle Model to the variations shown in the last section. You could discuss some advantages and disadvantages that this model may have, and how the other variants help or fail to address some of the disadvantages. This might not be the case if they are suitable for different circumstances.		* It could be nice to contrast in some way the Life Cycle Model to the variations shown in the last section. You could discuss some advantages and disadvantages that this model may have, and how the other variants help or fail to address some of the disadvantages. This might not be the case if they are suitable for different circumstances.
	* I think we do not have a specific referencing format, but it would be better for your article if they were written in the same style.		* I think we do not have a specific referencing format, but it would be better for your article if they were written in the same style.

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:03, 26 November 2014
Line 35:		Line 35:

	* In the abstract or summary, it could be a good idea to state the four phases of the life cycle model before referring to them. You start talking about these phases in the third line of the paragraph; however, you mention them until the end of it. It might be the case that you do not want to mention them before, but it was quite complicated to know what I was reading about without knowing these phases. It may also be a good idea if you state more clearly in this part what the reader is going to read in the article (explanation of the four phases, examples, variations of the model, etc.).		* In the abstract or summary, it could be a good idea to state the four phases of the life cycle model before referring to them. You start talking about these phases in the third line of the paragraph; however, you mention them until the end of it. It might be the case that you do not want to mention them before, but it was quite complicated to know what I was reading about without knowing these phases. It may also be a good idea if you state more clearly in this part what the reader is going to read in the article (explanation of the four phases, examples, variations of the model, etc.).
			**''I moved the definition of the phases forward, it truly makes more sense that way. And I added a brief intro to the rest of the article.''
	* Don’t forget to reference the figures in the text. They are very useful, so it could be even better if the text guides you through them.		* Don’t forget to reference the figures in the text. They are very useful, so it could be even better if the text guides you through them.
	* It could be useful to mention (before explaining the four phases) why you have decided to take these four phases and not others. It is not clear if this is the way Rainer Züst and Peter Troxler do it, or if you got the idea from other sources. This also affects the figure with the life cycle phases and decision gates.		* It could be useful to mention (before explaining the four phases) why you have decided to take these four phases and not others. It is not clear if this is the way Rainer Züst and Peter Troxler do it, or if you got the idea from other sources. This also affects the figure with the life cycle phases and decision gates.
	* I consider it important to mention what you consider throughout the article as “Systems Engineering”. You could go into small detail, probably referencing a couple of sources. I think that it might be useful to divide the background in to sections: Main Concepts and Historical Background. That way you may be able to clarify this concept and probably make explicit the relationship between this topic and project/portfolio/program management.		* I consider it important to mention what you consider throughout the article as “Systems Engineering”. You could go into small detail, probably referencing a couple of sources. I think that it might be useful to divide the background in to sections: Main Concepts and Historical Background. That way you may be able to clarify this concept and probably make explicit the relationship between this topic and project/portfolio/program management.
	* You may want to make the bullet points under the Development Phase in bold letters; however, it is just a suggestion, it may not be that relevant.		* You may want to make the bullet points under the Development Phase in bold letters; however, it is just a suggestion, it may not be that relevant.
			**''good idea''
	* The figures could be shown a little bit bigger. As they currently are, the reader needs to click on them to actually read the content.		* The figures could be shown a little bit bigger. As they currently are, the reader needs to click on them to actually read the content.
	**done (300px)		**''done (300px)''
	* The second figure may need to add a label on the Y-axis to clearly state that it reflects influence (very helpful chart).		* The second figure may need to add a label on the Y-axis to clearly state that it reflects influence (very helpful chart).
	**The Y-axis corresponds to the percentage of the two curves at any given stage during the development phase. The two curves indicate influence vs. knowledge on/about the project and are marked ~~accordinly~~		**''The Y-axis corresponds to the percentage of the two curves at any given stage during the development phase. The two curves indicate influence vs. knowledge on/about the project and are marked accordingly''
	* It could be nice to contrast in some way the Life Cycle Model to the variations shown in the last section. You could discuss some advantages and disadvantages that this model may have, and how the other variants help or fail to address some of the disadvantages. This might not be the case if they are suitable for different circumstances.		* It could be nice to contrast in some way the Life Cycle Model to the variations shown in the last section. You could discuss some advantages and disadvantages that this model may have, and how the other variants help or fail to address some of the disadvantages. This might not be the case if they are suitable for different circumstances.
	* I think we do not have a specific referencing format, but it would be better for your article if they were written in the same style.		* I think we do not have a specific referencing format, but it would be better for your article if they were written in the same style.